Attempting to take on a rational opinion of the outside world becomes a deepening tragedy. In my more youth filled days, (though they may have been more of drug hazed filled days) I ponder many times of the world around me. Seeing that events never stop occuring, that the world turns even in our darkest hours, is a hard reality to grasp. Knowing that all in all we are nothing more than a speck of dust in a Dr. Suess story can be terrifying. That we are at the whims of the universe, or the subservient side effect of a higher powers after thoughts.
Digging deeper I should reveal that at one point in my life (I say one point but more like a decade) even walking outside to sit on my porch brought on experiences that drove my senses wild. I stayed locked in my room, to myself so much that I began to question if the world outside of my house was real. If the 3d reality I thought was there hanging around outside was just a figment of my imagination. If I honestly were to ask myself this question now, being as I have come much further out of my homebody shell, the answer would be of course it is real.
Again digging deeper, I ask the question; If the reality I see outside of my front door is real, then who's reality is it? Did i dream it all up moments before I opened the screen door? Do these sensations of crisp morning air really exist, or is it something I have come to expect to sense when I do this thing I rarely do. In exploring this thought I have to determine my experience and relate it to others in my surrounding.
This only brings on more questions, how can I take the word of another in place of what I am experiencing. Do their experiences override mine if they received a different clarity of the event. My initial thought says, well maybe I am wrong?, or maybe I overlooked a sensation that they as my accomplice did not. Did I hold my breath a moment longer than they, so now that crisp air hitting my lungs is hidden by the distracting brightness of the sun beating down on my face? A simple second of space and time is enough for our views on the same event to be altered and vary. All of this boils down to a path which is built based on one response to a screen door opening. What if by chance I disregard my friend as even being real?
What if, based on my rejection of reality of the world outside my door, I say my friend is also nothing more than my fore-thoughts creating not just his reaction to the ensuing events, but that he himself is a creation of my mind. It would be difficult in my view to prove this otherwise. I can not see the world truely from his eyes. The only nose I will ever stare down from this vantage point is my own. So, how can I really be convinced that he is nothing more than a true creation of my own imagination. I know that people exist. I know that most of us have the freedom of conscious thought. But, how can I be sure he is one of them?
Not to stray to far from the topic I want to add the above relation of mentally creating our realities, as a view point to look to when we need to sit back and review events philosophically. Building a base line of possible viewpoints gives us the ability to truely think outside of the box.
Now that I have leaked out my visions of what is real and what may not be in the realm of things outside of my door, I want to return to the fact that in feeling these things, I have made it a point with my family to step outside more often. To really absorb the world around me. I have come to some conclusions that maybe the reality outside of my door is a collaberation of the people in it. A fully functioning collective. We share and interact with one another creating and dismantaling what we preceive as a working reality. When my wife and I step outside to walk to our car our minds collectively produce the results we both are thinking. Nether one of our projections overriding the other but some how seamlessly merging our realities. Together, we create and live in a world we have built. An ever evolving reality.
In what will surely not be the final conclusion on the matter, I hope that those days in which I retreated to my room in fear of the unknown outside of my door are over, leaving me to go outside to further observe my world, to question and create the events in my life, giving no one but myself the right to shape the things I go through.
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